The seasonal blues, the Christmas depression, is much more common than we would want to admit. Especially as men. I've gone in and out of this most of my life. Yet, I've learned some tricks to help me conquer it and to keep going. Even as a follower of Jesus, we have to deal with real issues and cannot just act like they don't exist. If you struggle with depression, don't give up! Read on and be encouraged!
Thankfully, discussion about male depression is not as uncommon as it used to be. We're freer than ever to be who we really are, and that's a good thing. Wintertime is the season where it is triggered in me big time, especially post holidays when life goes back to normal, and Spring seems far away. That said, I have a slight understanding of the ups and downs that can accompany the feeling of things not being 100% "right".
Although its less so than in years past, I have been constantly amazed by the general reluctance of the society and sometimes the faith community to discuss this very human condition. Yet, I have read two very interesting pieces in the New Testament where both the great Apostle Paul and even Jesus himself struggled with despair. Here's a quote from Paul written to the church in Corinth.
"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we even despised of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened what we might not rely on ourselves, but on God,who raises the dead." (II Corinthians 1:8-9)
Jesus' words are even more important here, as He is God in the flesh: In the garden of Gethsemane before his crucifixion, he says to Peter, James and John, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death." (Matthew 26:38)
How much more direct and descriptive can that be?
Personally speaking, it's taken me years to accept the fluctuations that come in life. I've been trained in the Southern California mindset of "Always sunny and free all the time". But life is not like that- which is why I am also so against the prosperity teachers that can populate the Christian airwaves and bookstores. They are a distortion of the truth of who God is and His Word.
How can I manage and even conquer life's ups and downs when leaning toward depression? A few things I have discovered: One, stay as far away from sin as possible! This will help you- realize that being tempted is NOT the same as sinning. There was something very, very freeing in that realization. I can be tempted over and over again but I don't have to succumb. Jesus himself was tempted in every way, so I shouldn't feel bad when I'm tempted. Neither should you.
When I'm low, instead of looking toward the things that will seem to meet my needs in the moment but ultimately keep me addicted, I will ask for strength to avoid them. Why add to my problems by doing things I know will cause me to be more deeply depressed later? Be it excess food or alcohol, drugs, illicit sex, gambling, the internet, endless media binging, buying things I don't need etc, the actions which pacify our pain can also be the very ones that keep us captive instead of free. Pain can be a healthy sign that God is still working on my behalf, and there are things He wants to clean up for my own benefit.
Secondly, when my need feels great, when I am sad, or even when I am just craving what I know is ultimately destructive, I am training myself to see that as my clue I need more time with my heavenly father. Time for quiet reflection, prayer, worship, and reading my Bible can bring me back to a peaceful place. I've made the decision that my life belongs to Jesus, so why shouldn't I go right to Him when I know He can and will show tender care for me? He knows everything about me anyway- that's a scary thought at times- so I should look to Him and be 100% honest about where I'm at.
Lastly, I am developing a pattern of choosing to have a thankful heart. This is a choice and this is a battle for control of my thoughts. I am so blessed by God! Yet, how often do I long for more of everything and not be grateful for my life. It will never be perfect or free from want or conflict, so I might as well be as joyful, thankful and at peace as I can be. Again, the story is not over yet.
Years back, there was a brief season of a few months where I even took antidepressants on the advice of my doctor. That helped balance me out when I need it. Others need them as a long term part of their lives. If that's you, please consider it. God uses doctors to heal, too! Keep that in consideration if you struggle.
God is so faithful as we continue to look to Him for hope and strength. May my disclosure and insights help give those of you who struggle some ideas about how to live life well in the midst of difficulty.
